Very well, I'll show you my desk, but there's nothing you can say about the mouse mat that I haven't already grumbled to myself

If you managed to make it to the end of Julian’s desk tour without being hypnotised by the terrible beauty of that plump, vast, prize-winning Sussex hog, you’ll recall that he (Julian, not the hog) challenged the rest of us to share our own workspaces. First cheekily, then mockingly. "Nice desk pictures, Captain No Desk Pictures," he’d sneer, before roaring out of the Ziff Davis office on his motorbike. Or it may have been a bicycle, I wasn’t sure. My eyes were too full of tears.

Well, fine. FINE. Here’s where I park myself, plus all the bits and bobs that keep me company, and yes - you can click the photo to make it bigger.